cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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