Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
