with your own penis?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
high people should be assigned attendants
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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