There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You took a bar mat shot.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
