I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
