i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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