Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM

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(201): View more from New Jersey

The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.

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(917): View more from New York City

hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye

(908): View more from New Jersey

AMAZING.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.

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(940): View more from Texas

I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast

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(613): View more from Ontario

Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?

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(516): View more from New York

The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.

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(208): View more from Idaho

It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.

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(804): View more from Virginia

My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.

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