I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Come see our sink grown plant.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
