Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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