and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
