Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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