Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
