I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
