I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize