You smell like a Billy Joel song
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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