I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize