I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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