ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
