How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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