one two three fourrrrnication!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
