I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
