weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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