I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
