What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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