You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize