think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
