Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
