escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
