I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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