is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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