oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize