yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Randomize
