mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you win again, gameday.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
