Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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