i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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