OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
