I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
