It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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