I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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