Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
