Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
