I think I won the penis lottery.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
