I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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