Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
