Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
