u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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