I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize