Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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