Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
