DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize