Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
