I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
