Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
