We're like a lot better than the average bears
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
