Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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