And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
