And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
