12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize