True but thats because hes a fetus.
It's Friday. Sex?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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