whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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