It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
