Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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