Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
