It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
