i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
